You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
