so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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