do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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