Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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