I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
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