FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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