whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The beer is more important than you right now.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize