You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
