Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
