genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I think people are normalizing furries
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
