Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
