Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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