1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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