haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
