You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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