im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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