In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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