i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
