Her vagina should come with caution tape.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
