Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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