theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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