Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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