Yo dont text me then not text me
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
