I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
