If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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