You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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