his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
