Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
