you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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