Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
