Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
