I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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