New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
