if i can run in heels then i can drive
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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