we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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