Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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