I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
