When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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