I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You need Xanax blowdarts
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
