508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You may now shotgun with the bride
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
