My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize