if i can run in heels then i can drive
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
