If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
