I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
