Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
