the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
