I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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