Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
