Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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