I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
