I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
