If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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