ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
