your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
