She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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