I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
