He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
