He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
