your thong is hanging out like whoa
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
