is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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