We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
sex in a hospital.. check
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
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