Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
