just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
