That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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