We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
