Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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